How It Feels To Be Alone
by Afro Stacey
Summary: This is a Re-write of an old fic - and is now MUCH better! Jack has lost all of Ana Maria's love and trust through a drunken and violent mistake and he's desperate to win her back...a sad and twistfull fic not for people wanting humour. JackAna
1. Guilty

**How It Feels To Be Alone** ******Version 2**

Prologue: AKA **Guilty**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, places, plots etc from Walt Disney's Pirates Of the Caribbean. This was created only for entertainment. This is set around two years after we left the film.

A/N: As I have somewhat matured as a writer and person (in your dreams, honey) I thought that I should re-write this fic. I'd lost interest in Fan Fiction until I got a lovely little review from Taurus-Sparrow-0506, which made me think that I was good! Yay! Thanks to Taurus-Sparrow-0506 for that review and go check her out!!! Also, my friend captainme has been whining at me to update for weeks and weeks, so I think I owe her a little something...

Jacks POV

'I never meant to hurt you, Ana. I'm sorry...Please Ana...forgive me?' Jack had never really been the type to grovel, to be the one apologizing, even to love, but he was desperate. He felt more than guilty for what he had done to Ana-Maria, and he knew that no matter what he said or did, he knew deep inside his heart that she would NEVER take him back. He had lost all of his drunken yet smart senses and wanted nothing more than for his lover to take him back – no matter how unreal that fantasy was.

Ana Maria glowered, and not even bothering to talk to him, and turned away from him striding honorably. As she left she hissed without even looking at him, 'your words are nothing, I hate you.'

Jack watched longingly as Ana Maria strode away from him without looking back or even acknowledging the pain and embarrassment he was going through. Not that the pain he had had was anything compared to hers.

She had changed him, maybe for the better. He didn't know and never would. But one thing he did know was that Ana Maria had a right to be angry with him. He had performed the ultimate betrayal and needed to somehow gain her trust once again. Since his fatal youth he had known what it felt like to loose the person that you love, but this split his heart in two. _'Why do I have to be so stupid? I'd finally found her and I let her down! I'll never have her again...' _

Knowing that the annoying little voice inside his head was definitely right, he turned away from Ana Maria's shrinking form and started to walk back to _The Black Pearl_.

He thought of what he had done and knew that he would be off the Rum. He was sad to have to give it up, even if it had caused what he'd done on the fateful night...

Ana's POV

Ana Maria watched as Jack climbed onboard his ship and wondered if she'd done the right thing. He'd lied and hurt her, that was for sure, but she loved him nearly enough to forgive him.

But she couldn't...

She couldn't let him get away with it.

There was nothing that he could do...

Gibbs POV

After his long and reflective walk, Jack reached his ship. He stood and stared solemnly at his ship. 'At least I'll always have you' He muttered to himself with a twitch of a smile. He'd never been so sad and alone – not even the past was anything compared to this. He rowed and climbed aboard _The Black Pearl_ with low spirits, wanting to die.

Gibbs swaggered over to him and greeted him 'Hello, Jack.' He glanced over his captain and said 'Are ye ok?' as he had never since such emotions on the face of his captain.

'Gibbs...' Said Jack in a voice that told him not to question his sorrow. He looked at the floor trying to block Gibbs view of him and shut off the rest of the world.

Knowing his place – as crewmember and friend – He quickly changed the subject, and peered over Jack, expecting to see his good friend Ana, 'Where be Ana Maria Cap'in? He asked, truly caring. She was like the little sister he had never had...

'She's not coming back Gibbs' He said with unusual sorrow and a sigh. 'Way anchor' He sighed, and walked away slowly.

'Aye sir' he replied as his uncharacteristically sorrow captain and friend retreated to his cabin before yelling orders at the crew. Gibbs didn't know exactly what Jack had done - heck, nobody did most of the time - but he did know that something bad was going on. Ana Maria would never leave her ship and life unless something disastrous had happened. He was right about the disaster, and knew how bad things were when Jack appeared from his cabin soon after, and sat at the helm of the ship, watching as he was slowly dragged away from the island and the only person he'd ever loved...

Hope you've enjoyed this, and even if you didn't send me a nice review!!! If I get enough, I'll do write the rest of the story, and it will be longer! :)

Love **Afro Stacey** xxx


	2. Sweet Mistakes

**How It Feels To Be Alone** **** **Version 2**

Chapter 2: **Sweet Mistakes**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, places, plots etc from Walt Disney's Pirates Of the Caribbean. This was created only for entertainment. This is set around two years after we left the film.

A/N: thanks to and Taurus-Sparrow-0506, freak and proud, JessieRose, Araminta Ditch, and captainme for the reviews!

And since A certain Mr. Blooms life has been put under threat, then I guess I'd better write some more...sigh

Gibbs POV

Jack had been moping around his cabin for the past few days, hardly venturing out into the terrifying glare of the sun. He was drowning his sorrows into his rum and avoiding the piercing sun as if it knew all of his deepest, darkest secrets. He hated even knowing them himself...

Gibbs had been observing Jack for no less than all of the time since his return from the island – Ana Maria-less. He thought that he knew just what he needed...After all; any pirate who couldn't be cheered up by a woman's lust bought by hard cash couldn't be classed as a pirate at all - at least not in his opinion.

Jacks POV

Jack didn't know that The Black Pearl had been sailing towards the town of Tortuga under Gibbs's command. His attempts on staying of the rum had failed rather miserably and he had been drowning his sorrows in his drink for the almost the whole of his journey...

At the sudden yell of, 'Land Ho!' Jack stepped out into the light for the first time in 5 days.

Gibbs POV

Gibbs swaggered over to Jack and watched his squinting for a few seconds before talking to his captain, 'Jack.' He said nodding. (A/N: That's there just for freak and proud!)

Jack looked up at him and Gibbs found it hard to read his expression. He could tell that his captain had spent his air-deprived days getting hammered, and thought that the little visit to Tortuga would much please his captain.

He informed Jack of where they were and got nothing but a smirk back. Jack swaggered away back to his cabin – probably to drink some more and Gibbs leaned over the side of _The Pearls_ deck and took out his telescope. After searching the horizon for a few minutes there it was. Tortuga. Pirate heaven. The haven. Every dream that a sea rat could ever have...

Jacks POV

Once at Tortuga, Jack and Gibbs anchored the ship and set the crew free for a night on the town, much to there delight as they thought that they were just here to pick up more Rum. Not that they would've minded that either...

Jack was oblivious to the fact that Gibbs were going into a whore house, but once inside his jaw fell to the floor...

Jack was already drunk and completely forgot about Ana Maria upon seeing redheads, blondes and brunettes cavorting around in the dim light. He pushed him forwards and snuck towards the exit leaving Jack in the 'capable' hands of the many women that just a few years ago Jack would've classed as the best in the world.

Jacks POV – next morning

Jack woke up with a hangover to end all hangovers. He tried to put his mind of it and stroked Ana-Maria's back gently. Jack happily nuzzled into Ana's back, like he always did, and she let out a shrill giggle.

Jack smirked to himself and felt happy to be back in her good books. He opened his eyes to look at her and smiled at the sight of her curly blonde hair. He shut his eyes again and sighed to himself. 'Hang on' he thought to himself, and opened his eyes. After a few seconds staring at her – realization dawned on him.

He unlatched his hands from the woman's back and looked down under the covers in horror. 'Ok where are the clothes? Don't tell me I've...' Jack jumped from his bed and stared at the woman lying peacefully.

'Shit' he said under his breath as his eyes popped out of his head.

Ana Maria's POV

Ana Maria marched through the wild Tortuga streets knowing perfectly well that Gibbs would have bought Jack here.

After being left on the island, she had walked into town feeling guilty that she hadn't even given Jack a chance to explain himself. Not that it could make up for anything that he had done.

She cruised the streets and bumped into the youngest member of _The Black Pearl. _'Hi, Billy,' She said smiling at the newcomer, who at only 15, was mothered by her and Jack. 'Have you seen Gibbs or _Jack_?'

Billy looked up at Ana Maria, not expecting her to be there. He had heard two of the crewmembers talking about the night that Ana Maria left the ship, and didn't like what he had heard. How could Jack do such a thing?

He had no idea why Ana Maria would want to come back to Jack, and he **really **didn't want to tell her the truth...

'Hi Ana...arm...Jack's-'

'-Occupied!!!!' laughed one of the other members stepping between Billy and Ana.

Ana gave him a stare and continued 'anyway, Billy, do you know where he is?' She gave him a kind and reassuring smile, as Billy wasn't exactly the type to stand up for himself in front of other crew members – which wouldn't do well if the people one board where really cruel...

Billy stood looking shifty and replied 'well I'm not sure...but I think Manny knows' he looked up at the man who had barged in front of him. He was at least twice his height, and twice his width, but he had managed to put a lot of pressure on the man.

Manny looked up into Anas' piercing glance and made himself tell the truth 'He's at a whore house...'

Ana Maria instantly fumed and both Manny and Billy took a step backwards in shock as she demanded to know 'WHERE IS HE? THE RAT!!!!! HE FEELS SO GUIILTY THAT HE GOES AND FUCKS SOME BIMBO TO TAKE HIS MIND OFF WHAT HE'S DONE?!?!' She felt so stupid and gullible to have even thought about coming to let Jack explain. It was just like him! 'Where is he?' she asked after taking a few deep breathes in an attempt to calm down.

Billy murmured 'We've said to much...' not expecting Ana to hear, but, as so often happens, she did.

'You know, Billy! Where?' She through her arms in the air and screamed in Billy's terrified face 'WHERE?' He'd never seen her so angry...

'Ana, calm down, he's just a kid!' Said Manny, suddenly feeling the need to stick up for the poor boy. He looked distraught to see his mother figure mad at him. Manny hated seeing him so upset, even though he didn't exactly like the kid. He was slightly annoying.

Ana Maria turned to Manny and sighed. 'Where is he Manny? I have to know...' she turned to walk away, but Manny answered her question.

'Second Street on the left, the red and black house' sighed Manny

Ana Maria smiled and strode off before turning back to them and saying 'thank you, I'm so sorry...' And she truly was...

Jacks POV

'Oh for the love of God!' yelled Jack into the woman's face. 'Leave me alone! His was all a bloody mistake!'

The whore's lips twitched into something resembling a smile ' That's not what you said last night...' she said innocently. Truth is, she'd never imagined shacking up with the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow...this would be a tale for the girls.

Jack opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut and pulled on his trousers – running from the house.

On his way out he threw some coins at an underdressed woman in the hallway and opened the door.

Ana Maria's POV

As she rounded the corner she was astonished by what she saw.

Jack stood half dressed in broad daylight arguing with a blonde woman who would give half of the towns women a run for their money (and husbands).

She could only here snippets of conversation as she stormed towards the pair.

'Jackie...don't-'

'It's Captain Sparrow!' he retorted and Ana fumed at his horny remark.

Jacks POV

Jack turned to leave the woman and saw Ana coming towards him, with anger plain to see on her face.

'Shit...'

A/N: Not sure what you guys will have thought of this, but please review – just not with anything nasty!!!

Cheers!

Love **Afro Stacey** xxx


	3. Let Out The Rage

**How It Feels To Be Alone** **** **Version 2**

Chapter 3: **Let Out The Rage**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, places, plots etc from Walt Disney's Pirates Of the Caribbean. This was created only for entertainment. This is set around two years after we left the film.

A/N: Big thanks to my lovely reviewers!!! Please check them all out because they deserve your support! Beams I haven't updated in over a week because I've been on holiday, so sorry!

Anyway... It appears that some do not think Jack should be wearing his heart on his sleeve, well he's changed a bit and this is my story! Laughter and sorry about the WEIGH or WAY mistake in the first chapter...I forgot! Oops! And I'm glad you all feel sorry for Jack - I do! :'(

Whores POV

As the whore saw a tanned, pirate-looking woman storming towards her, she knew she was in for trouble. She puller her thin, just thrown on, gown around her and made her face as blank as could be managed. Years of working in her occupation had taught her how to never cry or show emotion. After all, she was paid to look like she was enjoying things that she most definitely wasn't. And she needed the money...even though she wanted nothing more than to escape and be free – Free as a sparrow...

The tanned woman looked at Jack with anger that the whore had never seen on the face of a woman before, save for her mother...but she didn't want to think about that.

She diverted all of her attention back to this woman who had just reached them...

Jacks POV

Jack glanced at the whore, whose face had completely changed from desperate longing to blank and stoney. He didn't have the time to wonder how she did it.

As Ana Maria finally reached them he inwardly cringed at the situation... 'You're losing your touch, Sparrow!' said Jack thoughts.

At the same time, Ana hollered, 'Jack! How could you! I'd come to let you explain yourself!'

Jack had apparently been concentrating more on his thoughts and mumbled 'It's Captain Jack, actually you idiot...' then on realizing what he had said...

Whores POV

...Smack. She hadn't seen that in a long time. Jack's head reeled round and his beads followed up for a secondary whack to his cheek. The look on his face said that he had had it all before, but it still hurt him more and more each time.

She watched as Jack opened his mouth to say something (A/N: I guess I deserved that comes to mind...) but closed in after a second of thought.

He straightened himself up and faced the mysterious woman. His face was a mixture of annoyance, guilt, pain and terror. This wasn't the man she had heard so much about. 'Ana...I-I...' he stuttered.

He seemed to have lost all of his dignity to this fierce looking woman. The whore deeply sympathized him, he had been drunk last night and she could hardly have said no. It didn't work like that...she did as she was told. And who would pass up the chance of a night with Jack Sparrow, anyway? He was the stuff of legends...

'You what, Jack? Say you're so _sorry_ and you're _guilty_ and then go and **fuck some stupid bimbo **for a couple of coins? Why do you do this?' She roared, inflicting poor Jack with sadness that the simple whore would hopefully never know.

Jack obviously could withstand the pain, but the whore could not let the insult fly over her head. 'I am **NOT** stupid! And I Am **NOT** a Bimbo!' She yelled in her most fierce voice, much different from her shrill laughter that she faked for the amusement of men...

Ana Maria's POV

As the whore yelled at her Ana Maria just stopped still. What the hell was happening? A hooker, no better than a pirate, was shouting her mouth of when she had nothing to do with it! But then again she had a lot to do with it...Stupid Bitch.

'How **DARE** you?!' She shrieked back, she had never been so outraged, except with Jack, who deserved it more than anyone in the world. '_You_ have probably fucked enough men to populate an Island!'

The whore quickly threw back an insult, 'And _you_ have probably caused Jack more than enough grief to drive him into the bed of a 20 stone, 50 year old stripper!' She was obviously smarted than she looked...

Jacks POV

Jack watched as Ana Maria and his 'woman' yelled at each other in fury. Great. A fight to help ruin his hopes of getting back Ana... he was distraught.

Billy's POV

Billy and Manny rounded the corner, and couldn't believe their eyes. Ana Maria and a woman were about to leap on each other and fight! Jack was just standing there, looking shocked and utterly unaware of what was going on. Billy had never seen Jack with less control of a situation! All of the people he looked up to and respected the most were going insane! It was hard enough having just been yelled at by Ana – but now this!

Manny sped off towards the three figures and Billy decided to follow him. Anything to stop this madness! He knew that being a pirate wasn't exactly the best behavior, but everything was just too much for him to take.

By the time they had got there, Ana-Maria and nameless hooker were fighting full throttle. A tooth lay cracked on the floor and clothes were being torn. A few early morning drunkards had gathered around the women and were heckling at the women! Somebody was even betting who would win!

Billy whimpered as he shook Jack back to earth. Jack stared at him and then at the two women, who were being pulled apart by Manny.

Whores POV

As she was pulled away from Ana-Maria she pulled her drape around her, covering whatever modesty she had left. Which wasn't much by now. One of her eyes was burning, yet she still struggled to reach her opponent in the huge mans other arm.

She could see that one of her back teeth was missing, that must be causing some pain!

Jack was by now fully alert, and the man threw the whore to him. He frog marched her into the nearest pub. She was thrown down panting.

Jacks POV

'Who the hell are you?' Jack said to her once they had recovered their breath. He actually cared. This woman had intervened when he needed it most – but he would rather have faced Ana that let somebody else get hurt. No matter how unlike a pirate that was...

She looked him in the eyes and smiled. 'My name is Susan'

Anas POV

Once Jack and 'The Whore' had disappeared, she was put down by Manny. She felt inside her mouth and even though she tried to fight it, she broke down in tears.

'Ana...' soothed Billy who had appeared by their side holding the broken tooth. He placed it into her hand and tried to give her a reassuring smile. It sent her into more sobs and Billy quickly snatched away.

She eventually subsided her sobs and managed to say 'tell Jack that I'm going back to the Island and I don't want to be followed... I want to see my Mum as she gets carried away to where he put her!'

Billy and Manny both looked utterly shocked.

Little they known that the brutal murder was by their very own captain...

A/N: Thanks for reading this far! What a cliffhanger, eh?

Please review as I have a good bit coming!!! Pirates Honor!

Love **Afro Stacey** xxx


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